Don’t Forget To Love Yourself First

by | Lindsey's Musings

January 2017

I’m going to start this by explaining I don’t really do resolutions, I do goals. It’s quirky, and has a mile-long explanation (as most things in my world do) that I’ll spare you from for now. So, let’s talk about 2016. 2016 was my year of self-respect. It’s the year I learned to say goodbye to people that weren’t building me up, I learned to say goodbye to parts of me that weren’t serving my greater good, and I learned to say goodbye to situations and relationship that were heavy, debilitating, and dragging me down to a place I didn’t necessarily want to go.

 

I started 2016 a little rocky. I was heart-broken in more ways than one, lost, confused, terrified, and searching to find a new normal in my “let’s just throw it in the blender and hit puree” world. I made a decision in late December that I wanted 2016 to be the year that I loved myself first. The year I had so much self-respect that anything not serving me, my purpose, or my greater good or the good of God would not be able to stand to be in my presence because I had such a flaming self-respect and love for the person I was and would be becoming in my future. Yeah, it was quite the hefty goal and came complete with Rachel Platten’s Fight Song as its own personal theme song. Moving on.

Was it easy? No. Did I nail it at first? Definitely not. Am I an expert at it now? Most certainly not. I would love to tell you that at that moment I had some alternate universe life transformation where all the energy of the universe combined to protect me and suddenly I had a self-respect of such a level that man had no way to measure it. Sounds pretty good right? But it’s not the truth.

 

The truth is I had to work at it, every.single.day. I saved hundreds of quotes on my phone, computer, and any scrap piece of paper that would remind me of the worth that I brought to this earth with me. Did you catch that? Brought to this earth with me. Remember, we all brought an immeasurable amount of worth with us to earth simply by being the children of God that we are. Worth is not something you gain on this earth and it’s certainly not something you earn.

 

I spent a lot of time on my knees, in the temple, and in a church pew pleading with my father in heaven to remind me. Remind me of the worth I felt before I came here, before Satan’s lies were in my head, before I made mistakes, and before worldly trials convinced me otherwise. I made a considerable effort to be nicer to myself and to others. I quit putting so much emphasis on the negative parts of myself I didn’t like, and instead tried to focus on the positive. I kept a gratitude journal. I surrounded myself with positive uplifting people that knew their worth and mine and showed it through their actions and their words. That’s important. Actions always speak louder than words, and people always show you what they think of you with how they treat you.

 

Never ever ever ever feel bad for letting people go who don’t know your value and respect you for it. Value, self-worth, worth of others, and respect isn’t something that you can teach someone. Those are things that they will have to spend time figuring out for themselves, and they can do that. That’s the beautiful thing about life, we are all here to learn and grow.

 

So, like I said I worked really hard at this goal and I didn’t really realize how far I had come until I had an experience that shocked me. I had someone tell me once that “you don’t find girls like you every day. You just don’t. You’re nice, you’re intelligent, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re self-sufficient, you’re pretty, you have a great personality, and you have a great smile. That’s just really hard to come by, and you….you just don’t find girls like you.” And you know what? I didn’t argue. In fact, if I remember right I either said out loud or something along the lines in my head “you’re right. You don’t find girls like me every day.” Now before you roll your eyes and judge me, know I meant that in the most humble way possible.

 

This past year I’ve really come to know my worth through my Heavenly Father’s eyes, and through my own and it’s really shown. It is so important that you learn to love yourself first, whether you’re single, dating, married, divorced, widowed….whatever, learn to love yourself first. This applies to relationships, from romantic to family, to friends and work. I truly believe that people treat us how we allow them to treat us. Now a little disclaimer, awful things happen to great people that can’t be explained and is in no way that person’s fault. That is not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is we can demand a certain level of respect to ourselves and to others, and people who don’t have that will naturally gravitate away from us. The beautiful part of that is that people who do have that same level of self-respect, love, and compassion will naturally gravitate towards us. That’s just how it works!

 

This goal is something that I’ve worked on for a year, and I’m certainly nowhere near perfect with it. However I’m a lot better than I used to be and it’s something I’ll continue to work on the rest of my life. Always remember how much you are loved by your father in heaven, by your family on earth and on the other side, and by your true friends. Remember you brought your worth with you to this earth, it is never something you gain here and definitely NOT something you earn. Love yourself enough to demand the respect you deserve and put up with nothing less. Love yourself enough to treat others with the level of respect you would want, and help build them up in a world that is so easy to tear them down. Your worth is something that can’t be measured in this world because it isn’t of this world. It’s eternal, it’s divine, it’s the upmost expression of love and respect, and it’s entirely yours. Never forget that.

When Satan Tells You It Will Never Be Enough

[et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="on" specialty="off"][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title admin_label="Post_Title" global_module="142" saved_tabs="all" title="on" meta="on" author="off" date="off" categories="off" comments="off" featured_image="on" featured_placement="background" parallax_effect="on" parallax_method="on" text_orientation="center" text_color="light" text_background="on" text_bg_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" module_bg_color="rgba(255,255,255,0)" title_font="Montserrat|||on|" title_font_size="30" title_text_color="#ffffff" title_all_caps="off" meta_font="Lora||||" meta_text_color="#d9d8c7" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="off" specialty="off"][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_number_counter admin_label="Number Counter" number="26" percent_sign="off" counter_color="#b54c60" background_layout="light" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" number_font="Lora||||"] [/et_pb_number_counter][et_pb_divider admin_label="Divider" color="#575a5e" show_divider="on" height="3" divider_style="solid" divider_position="top" hide_on_mobile="on"] [/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" header_font="Montserrat|||on|" header_font_size="42px" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="Montserrat|||on|" text_font_size="30"] May 2017 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] God and I have been having some pretty interesting chats lately. Mostly it’s been me spilling my guts, the ramblings of my brain, the fears from the deepest parts of my soul, and the constant begging for the slightest hint of relief. Relief from things that many people in this world cry out for relief from, and boy did I cry. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/DSC_0728.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="left" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="|||on|" text_font_size="30"] [/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="||on||"] He asks us to trust ourselves, trust in the divine potential we had in heaven and brought with us. We didn’t lose it. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] I am so grateful for the atonement, so incredibly grateful. It is such a vast divine truth that I hope someday to be able to fully comprehend at the level it is intended to be comprehended at. It provides relief from sin—and the guilt, shame, blame, and fear associated with it. However, it is also so much more than relief from sin (although, that’s a pretty big part in and of itself). It’s a way to transform ourselves, to move us forward to the divine beings God intended us to be. It provides a safe haven from the storm, a strong hand to hold steady to, a reassurance that we are loved beyond measure, and so so so much more. I knew this then, and I know it now, but what I’ve always struggled with is the actual application.   So here I was, on my knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for relief, begging to feel worthy to even be called a daughter of God again. I was working through pain I had caused myself, others, and vice versa. I was muddling through mistakes years ago and some a little more recent. I was dealing with the knowledge that I hadn’t and wasn’t living up to my divine potential. I was trudging through the disappointment I felt in myself. All the while these nasty, negative emotions swirled around in me, and I couldn’t get them to leave.   I would sit at work and think over and over about how much of a failure I was. I would drive home and the thoughts of failure would drive home with me. I remembered every.little.mistake I had ever made, even years ago, and felt the sting and pain of being human with each and every one. I believed (and still do) in the atonement, but I just couldn’t see how that would work for me. I didn’t see how I could ever confess enough, plead for forgiveness, or ever do enough to qualify for complete peace.   I couldn’t see how I could possibly be forgiven for the mistakes I made. I couldn’t see how I could possibly do enough to make up for my shortcomings. Let me repeat that again, I could not see how I could do enough…ever. I had done the Godly sorrow thing, but I was having a bit of trouble bouncing back from it. I was stuck in a deep hole, a pit of despair you could call it, and I couldn’t see any way out. I jumped, I clawed, I begged, and prayed for a way out, but alas there I was at the bottom still.   I was trying everything I knew how to do. I went to church, I prayed, I read scriptures, I fasted, I talked with close friends, I talked with family, I talked with people I knew were supposed to help me. No one had the answer. No one had the one step trick to letting go and letting Christ take it for you. They all just kept telling me to draw closer to the spirit and keep praying, so I did.   Then, one day all my efforts just clicked into place. I realized exactly where the thought of “it will never be enough” was coming from, and I sent it straight back. You see, we couldn’t possibly ever do enough to make up for our mistakes because we don’t have to. It isn’t our responsibility to save ourselves and the world, that’s Christ’s job. He is the Redeemer and Savior of the world, not you and definitely not me.   I realized that Christ had heard the pleadings of my heart and was oh so willing to take every last drop of pain I would let him. I learned to trust him and to trust in his guiding hand to help me let go of the things I thought I possibly couldn’t. I learned to let him fill in the gaps with his perfect love and mercy. I let him pay every debt.   Christ doesn’t require us to be perfect to be worthy of his atonement. He doesn’t require us to be perfect to be worthy of his love. He just asks us to try, to be honest, to do the things we know we need to do in order to let the atonement work in our lives. He asks us to keep trying, to block Satan out of our minds—even if that means casting him out multiple times a day, and keep trying. He asks us to trust ourselves, trust in the divine potential we had in heaven and brought with us. We didn’t lose it. We were and still are sons and daughters of God, even if it’s a little hard to remember exactly what that entails at times.   Don’t ever let Satan tell you that your efforts couldn’t possibly be enough. Hit your knees, ask God for the companionship of the Holy Ghost, ask him to help you right your wrongs, get up, and get to work. I promise you that it’s okay that you will ‘never be enough’ because Christ already is. He’s done it, he’s paid the price, and he’s just waiting for you to say “okay Lord, here, take it.”   The best part is he will, I promise you with all the energy of my soul, he will.   "But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love."- 2 Nephi 1:15 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" global_module="3581" make_fullwidth="on" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on" custom_padding="25px|25px|25px|25px"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="7" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="8,6" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="9" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
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Did God Kill My Mother? Loving God Through The Pain Of Mortality

I stood at the pulpit of my parent's home ward, staring into a sea of people and seeing only a few faces. I was the last speaker for my mom's funeral service, something I actually took joy in. Two weeks later I attended church services at my student Young Single Adult ward. I was broken, hurt, confused, scared out of my mind, and feeling cut off.
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This I Believe

I could never ever in my life deny that God lives. He lives, he loves us, he knows us, and he is here to help us. It is my belief that when we left our Father in heaven to come to Earth and carry out his plan that he made us a few promises. Of those promises, I believe he promised a great life. He never promised a life with-out trials, but he promised us a great life indeed.
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Not Your Mama’s Gluten Free Mac & Cheese

The gluten-free life isn't always easy, especially when you're craving some serious comfort food. Like Mac n Cheese. Don't worry, I've got you covered!
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Gluten Free Pad Thai

[et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="on" specialty="off"][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title admin_label="Post_Title" global_module="142" saved_tabs="all" title="on" meta="on" author="off" date="off" categories="off" comments="off" featured_image="on" featured_placement="background" parallax_effect="on" parallax_method="on" text_orientation="center" text_color="light" text_background="on" text_bg_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" module_bg_color="rgba(255,255,255,0)" title_font="Montserrat|||on|" title_font_size="30" title_text_color="#ffffff" title_all_caps="off" meta_font="Lora||||" meta_text_color="#d9d8c7" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="off" specialty="off"][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_number_counter admin_label="Number Counter" number="27" percent_sign="off" counter_color="#b54c60" background_layout="light" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" number_font="Lora||||"] [/et_pb_number_counter][et_pb_divider admin_label="Divider" color="#575a5e" show_divider="on" height="3" divider_style="solid" divider_position="top" hide_on_mobile="on"] [/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" header_font="Montserrat|||on|" header_font_size="42px" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="Montserrat|||on|" text_font_size="30"] December 2016 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] Prep/Cook Time: 30 minutes What You Need:
  • Gluten Free Pad Thai or Rice Stir-Fry Noodles
  • San-J Gluten Free Sweet & Tangy or Orange Sauce
  • Sesame Seeds
  • Assorted Veggies (I like to use broccoli slaw, snap peas, water chestnuts and cole slaw)
  • Dash of Garlic Powder
  • *Protein option: 1 egg
  • 2 cups water
  [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" disabled="off" disabled_on="on|on|off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/DSC_0005.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/DSC_0001.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/DSC_0004.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] In a large skillet bring the 2 cups water to boil and add your rice noodles, veggies, sesame seeds (to taste), a dash of garlic powder, and drizzle with your sauce. Cover with a lid and cook on medium heat for about 5 minutes or until noodles are tender. Don't forget to stir noodles occasionally and add water as needed. When your noodles are soft, cover with a lid and let them cool for 1 minute. Add additional sauce as needed and salt and pepper to taste. *If you wanted the protein option, simply scramble the egg in a separate pan and add in at the end. These are best served hot, but do reheat as leftovers fairly well with the noodles keeping their texture consistently. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" global_module="3581" make_fullwidth="on" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on" custom_padding="25px|25px|25px|25px"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="7" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="8,6" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="9" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Read Me

Gluten Free Cake Pops That Will Make You Wish You were actually gluten free

These cake pops will definitely be my go-to gluten free treat for future parties, events, and every day occasions... they were a hit!
Read Me

When you think you’re done, go back one more time.

That first day of my internship, I went to work expecting a situation like my old job. Now that I've established myself and gotten into the swing of things, I love my new job. I'm already learning so much and can't wait for what the future holds.
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A for honesty….or I mean eventual honesty.

Stop faking it. Be genuine human beings. Stand up for what you believe in. Quit caring so much about others and take the time to care for yourself. In reality, by caring for yourself and telling the truth, you're taking better care of them anyways.
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I’ll Think Of You Mom, I Promise I Will

[et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="on" specialty="off"][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title admin_label="Post_Title" global_module="142" saved_tabs="all" title="on" meta="on" author="off" date="off" categories="off" comments="off" featured_image="on" featured_placement="background" parallax_effect="on" parallax_method="on" text_orientation="center" text_color="light" text_background="on" text_bg_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" module_bg_color="rgba(255,255,255,0)" title_font="Montserrat|||on|" title_font_size="30" title_text_color="#ffffff" title_all_caps="off" meta_font="Lora||||" meta_text_color="#d9d8c7" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="off" specialty="off"][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_number_counter admin_label="Number Counter" number="18" percent_sign="off" counter_color="#b54c60" background_layout="light" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" number_font="Lora||||"] [/et_pb_number_counter][et_pb_divider admin_label="Divider" color="#575a5e" show_divider="on" height="3" divider_style="solid" divider_position="top" hide_on_mobile="on"] [/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" header_font="Montserrat|||on|" header_font_size="42px" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="Montserrat|||on|" text_font_size="30"] August 2017 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] It might be when we’re driving down the road and we pass a bunch of wild sunflowers growing heartily on the side of the highway. I image they’ll exclaim “mommy look! Sunflowers.” I’ll smile and reply, “yes dear, those are your grandma Lizzie’s favorite.” [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" disabled="off" disabled_on="on|on|off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/21.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/5.5.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/47.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] It might be when I’m up all night with a sick child, and I hear your voice in my head ‘try this’ ‘better not do that’ and ‘yes, they are definitely going to puke, grab the big bowl.’ I’ll tell them about you mom, I promise I will. I’ll tell them about the cute way you would crinkle your nostrils to wiggle your glasses that much higher on the bridge of your nose. We’ll laugh about the way you never could quite get those R’s to trill off your tongue, all thanks to a tricycle accident with those unforgiving stairs. When I’m getting ready for that first baby, and scared to my wit’s end, I’ll think of you mom. I’ll listen for your words of advice to pop into my head, as they always seem to do just in the nick of time. I’ll think of you in heaven, holding my babies for me while I get ready to do the same. Helping to prepare those sweet, innocent spirits for a world that won’t deserve them. I’ll think of you mom, I promise, I will. I’m sure I’ll have a daughter who likes to sew, and we’ll pull out your old sewing machine just for her. I’ll guide her hands along, just like you did mine, explaining that the needle will in fact bite you. We’ll talk about the time you found that lesson out, the painful way. I’ll patiently remind her not to take the easy way out, and to always match and pin the corners. Maybe I’ll have a son that I won’t have absolutely any idea what to do with. Scratch that, when I have a son I will have absolutely no idea what to do with, I’ll see your smile in my mind and know you’re one of the few things left keeping my patience in check. I’ll listen to your words then, mom, I promise I will. When the air goes crisp and fruit becomes ripe, we’ll talk about all the different things you used to can. I’ll stand in the kitchen, my kiddos in tow, stirring the endless amounts of jam and salsa. We’ll talk about the time we were canning salsa and I threw the biggest fit, swearing you were trying to kill me via the stench of boiled tomatoes. I’ll hear your words “Lindsey, you are going to be just fine. Just peel the skin off the tomatoes.” I’ll listen to you then mom, I promise I will. Maybe it will be when a child of mine packs a bag and walks to the door exclaiming they are leaving for grandpa’s house. I’ll remember the time I did the very same thing, bound for Grandma Snyder’s. I’ll think of you then mom, as I lovingly take them in my arms, just like you did me, and hold them while we work out whatever fiasco caused the sudden eviction of their childhood room. On summer nights when the weather is cool, I’ll rock them on my front porch swing and think of you, remembering the days we used to snuggle on your front porch too. We’ll talk about their lives and I’ll stroke their hair and listen, and I’ll think of you mom, I promise I will. It might be in the way their eyes light up on that fateful November day they finally play Christmas music on the radio. I image my child exclaiming ‘oh mom, it’s finally playing’ and we’ll crank it up and sing our hearts out to ‘Mary Did You Know?’. I’ll tell them how you used to drive me to school and every morning we would anxiously check to see if they were finally playing Christmas music. I’ll think of you then mom and I’ll smile, I promise I will. It’s bound to happen when I’m crocheting some afghan for one child or the other. I’ll explain the stitching multiple times, and patiently show them how it all comes together. I’ll watch their eyes focus in on the tangles of yarn, the wheels in their heads already turning. I’ll think of you then mom, I promise, I will. You see you’ll always be my leading lady mom, and I’ll need you still. Your watchful gaze from your angel wings, your words of warning carried across the wind, the warm embrace that seems to come from invisible arms, just when I feel I can’t take another step. I’ve got a whole life ahead of me mom, one I think will be quite the adventure. When I see your smile, the twinkle in your eyes, and hear your sweet laugh as the memories fly by, I’ll think of you then. I’ll think of you then, mom, like I always do now. I’ll smile mom, I promise I will. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" global_module="3581" make_fullwidth="on" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on" custom_padding="25px|25px|25px|25px"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="7" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="8,6" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="9" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text"] [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Read Me