When you think you’re done, go back one more time.
Hello hello! Well, life has been pretty dang good on my side of the globe. I’m home for the summer, loving my mountains and enjoying my friends and family. I recently started a new internship, and let me tell you. On the first day I showed up bright and early, looking chipper in my bright blue slacks and polka dot shirt. I had a power outfit on and I was ready to roll. What I didn’t foresee was how overwhelming everything would be. I had paperwork to fill-out, endless people to meet and remember, a to do list that was already too long and before I knew it I was feeling shoved into a hurricane. Not swayed easily, I gritted my teeth, buckled down and started wading through the first day madness.
I made it to 11:00. I felt like a marathon runner just crossing the halfway point.
I sat at a park with a friend, eating lunch and breathing some much needed fresh air. Honestly, I wanted to quit right then and there. Feeling like an entire failure for making it only four hours on the new job, I had some pretty negative vibes surrounding me. Insecurities racked my brain like you’re not old enough, they won’t take you seriously, you don’t have any experience, you’ll never be able to do this, you better quit now before they fire you, and what the heck were you thinking when you took this job!? However, I knew I couldn’t quit on the first day, so I finished my lunch and went back. The rest of the day was much like the beginning and I went home never wanting to get out of bed again.
The next morning my alarm clock rang, I dressed in yet another ‘power outfit’ and was soon on my way, peppermint tea in hand. Doubts and anxiety plagued me on my drive to work and I felt a sense of dread the closer I got. Surely today would be better, right? I entered the office and got straight to work.
It was a little easier, but there were hiccups along the way. I misunderstood directions, wasted hours doing a task wrong and probably drove my bosses completely nuts. I went back the third day and things were a bit easier. I felt like I had my bearings, I was organized and knew what was expected of me. Better yet, I knew I could do what was expected of me. By the end of the first week, I looked back at what felt like a lifetime. The first day I wanted to quit after four hours, the second day I completely muddled up an easy task, but by the fifth day I was rocking it. I feel comfortable and confident now. I’m not perfect, I still make mistakes, but I understand them now.
Glancing back in time I realized that previous to this internship I had worked the same job for six years. I had grown comfortable over the years and didn’t do much growing. Both my current job and past job are great, and I love them both. However I realized both were very different. That first day of my internship, I went to work expecting a situation like my old job. Now that I’ve established myself and gotten into the swing of things, I love my new job. I’m already learning so much and can’t wait for what the future holds.
I guess my advice to you tonight is, don’t give up. I could have quit that first day. I had a whole other job lined-up in my head and I would have been just fine…financially. If I had quit, I never would have given myself the chance to grow. I didn’t realize that what I had hit was an extreme learning curve, and I just had to buckle down and do it. I refer to them now as growing pains, and expect more in the future. If you find yourself in an overwhelming situation like I did take a step back. Breath, organize yourself, recognize your strengths, compensate for your weaknesses and get the job done.
Insecurities plague all of us, unfortunately that’s part of being a human. Don’t let that stop you. Go out, brave whatever scares you, and get it done. Remember, growing pains are only temporary. 🙂