Your Choice, Even When The Answer Is No

by | Faith

April 2016
I’m graduating in a little over a week. The last few months I’ve come to realize how much of a choice, or how little, I have in certain matters.
Graduation has been heavy on my mind for months. Last semester I looked forward to it with excitement. I lit up at the thought of not having to pay tuition, moving to a new place, starting a new job, finally using my skills instead of sitting in a classroom all day. When I thought of graduation I pictured myself as Bilbo Baggins, rushing through the Shire chasing after ponies and yelling “I’m off on another adventure.”

Senior Project Poster

Presenting my senior project poster, which showcased the work I did designing a website that semester.

Then my last semester of college hit. There were classes to finish, absolutely no motivation to finish them, graduation packets to fill-out, announcements to make, parties to plan, resumes to polish, pant suits to brush off, confidence to grow, interviews to nail, and jobs to be had. I became obsessed. If I wasn’t in class or working, I was job hunting. I applied to multiple jobs daily.

I was blessed to get interviews, but they didn’t seem to go farther than that. I still held onto hope, telling myself that something better was coming along. I was sure that my preparation, hard work, and determination were enough to ensure I would graduate with a job, a new place, a new plan, a new adventure.

Well, here I am. So close to graduation, and so far from a job. This semester I have applied for at least 50 jobs, had close to 20 interviews, and still I haven’t found the right fit. I began to feel like I had less and less of a choice in my future, that no matter how hard I tried I really couldn’t ensure the path my life would go. I didn’t really like that thought, not one bit.

Today I got to reflect on that a little bit further as I received more “thanks for applying, but no” letters from potential future employers. That was the last straw. I finally swallowed my pride and accepted I was graduating without a job. This led me to reflect on the fact that my life forward has absolutely no plan, whatsoever, at all, nada, nope, not even close.

The more reflecting I’ve done however, I’ve come to realize that we always have a choice. Let me repeat we have a choice, even when the answer is no.

I have the choice to reflect on my interviews, learn from the good and the bad and prepare for the next one. I have the choice to realize I don’t have to apply for every job that even remotely applies to my degree- I can be selective and wait for the one that will be a good fit for me and the company. I have the choice to see that each experience I’ve had is helping me to learn what I do and don’t want in a future employer. I have a choice to realize I’m getting the opportunity to see some amazing companies, and I remember them as I continue to look for a position that will fit. I have a choice to reflect and honestly say “you know, it’s okay. It didn’t feel like the right fit either.” I have the choice to put my value and worth as a human being in more than having a job right after I graduate. I have the choice to celebrate the fact that I’m graduating with a double BS degree in Agricultural Communication and Journalism-something I at times doubted I would be able to do. I have the choice to study faith in the scriptures, conference talks, and church discussions. I have the choice to prayerfully grow closer to God as I plead with him to make my pathway clear.

I have the choice to realize that maybe that’s what he is doing.

I don’t think it’s human nature to like being told no, not even when it’s good for us. I’ve started to put a greater effort into not obsessing over the no, or the dream that will never be fulfilled, but on the silver lining.

I’m trying to trust when God says no, that it means there’s a better yes in the future. I’m trusting that he knows the bigger picture, and knows me better than I know myself.

I’m trusting that not having a job means I’ll get to learn how to have hobbies again (yes, all you fellow grads know the phenomenon of realizing that the past 4 years you forgot how to have hobbies.) I’ll be able to read books that have been sitting neglected on my shelf. I’ll be able to hike, evaluate myself and my goals, and set new goals for the future. I’ll be able to spend time with my dad, and take a deep breath after a year of life-changing circumstances. Mostly, I’m realizing that I’ll be able to move forward, still searching for a job, still praying, still reading my scriptures, still studying faith, and still trusting that God has a plan for me, it is in motion, and there are good things to come.

This I Believe

I could never ever in my life deny that God lives. He lives, he loves us, he knows us, and he is here to help us. It is my belief that when we left our Father in heaven to come to Earth and carry out his plan that he made us a few promises. Of those promises, I believe he promised a great life. He never promised a life with-out trials, but he promised us a great life indeed.
Read Me

Finding joy in the journey…through potholes, sink holes, and great crevasses

This is a post about relying on faith when job-hunting, and is hopefully relatable to recent college graduates.
Read Me

Life’s too short to do it on your own

Angels with us, what a beautiful and positive thought that is! God would not forsake us and leave us alone. He is very aware of each and every one of us and provides a way for us to accomplish our purpose on this earth.
Read Me

Gluten Free Almond Flour Banana Bread (Easy Guide)

[et_pb_section transparent_background="off" allow_player_pause="off" inner_shadow="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" padding_mobile="off" make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="off" custom_width_px="1080px" custom_width_percent="80%" make_equal="off" use_custom_gutter="off" fullwidth="on" specialty="off" admin_label="Section" disabled="off"][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title title="on" meta="on" author="on" date="off" categories="on" comments="off" featured_image="on" featured_placement="background" parallax_effect="on" parallax_method="on" text_orientation="center" text_color="light" text_background="on" text_bg_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" module_bg_color="rgba(255,255,255,0)" admin_label="Post_Title" title_font="Montserrat|||on|" title_font_size="30" title_text_color="#ffffff" title_all_caps="off" meta_font="Lora||||" meta_text_color="#d9d8c7" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_width="1px" border_style="solid" disabled="off" global_module="142" saved_tabs="all"] [/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section transparent_background="off" allow_player_pause="off" inner_shadow="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" padding_mobile="off" make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="off" custom_width_px="1080px" custom_width_percent="80%" make_equal="off" use_custom_gutter="off" fullwidth="off" specialty="off" admin_label="Section" disabled="off"][et_pb_row make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="off" custom_width_px="1080px" custom_width_percent="80%" use_custom_gutter="off" gutter_width="3" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" make_equal="off" column_padding_mobile="on" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="on" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="on" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="on" parallax_4="off" parallax_method_4="on" admin_label="Row" disabled="off"][et_pb_column type="1_4" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_number_counter number="31" percent_sign="off" counter_color="#b54c60" background_layout="light" admin_label="Number Counter" number_font="Lora||||" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_width="1px" border_style="solid" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_number_counter][et_pb_divider color="#575a5e" show_divider="on" height="3" divider_style="solid" divider_position="top" divider_weight="1px" hide_on_mobile="on" admin_label="Divider" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" admin_label="Text" header_font="Montserrat|||on|" header_font_size="42px" text_font="Montserrat|||on|" text_font_size="30" use_border_color="off" border_style="solid" disabled="off"] March 2019 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_4" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_text background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" admin_label="Text" use_border_color="off" border_style="solid" disabled="off"]

Here's my latest recipe for easy gluten free banana bread using almond flour.

  • Ingredients:

    • 1 cup almond flour
    • 1 1/2 - 2 mashed ripe bananas
    • 1 egg
    • 1 tsp vanilla
    • 1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
    • 1/8 tsp nutmeg
    • generous helping of chocolate chips
    • 1 tbls of butter or butter replacement
    • 1 tsp baking soda
    • 1/8 tsp salt
    • 1 tsp lemon juice
    • 2 small bread pans or 1 large bread pan
    • coconut oil
    • 1/8 cup oats (optional)- if you do add oats, be sure to add at least 2 ripe bananas so the texture of the bread isn't dry
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="off" custom_width_px="1080px" custom_width_percent="80%" use_custom_gutter="off" gutter_width="3" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" make_equal="off" column_padding_mobile="on" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="on" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="on" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="on" parallax_4="off" parallax_method_4="on" admin_label="Row" disabled="off"][et_pb_column type="3_4" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_image src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/DSC_0178.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" sticky="off" align="left" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" admin_label="Image" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_width="1px" border_style="solid" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_text background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" admin_label="Text" text_font="|||on|" text_font_size="30" use_border_color="off" border_style="solid" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_text][et_pb_text background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" admin_label="Text" text_font="||on||" use_border_color="off" border_style="solid" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="off" custom_width_px="1080px" custom_width_percent="80%" use_custom_gutter="off" gutter_width="3" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" make_equal="off" column_padding_mobile="on" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="on" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="on" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="on" parallax_4="off" parallax_method_4="on" admin_label="Row" disabled="off"][et_pb_column type="4_4" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="on" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_text background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" admin_label="Text" use_border_color="off" border_style="solid" disabled="off"]
  • Directions:

  • Preheat oven to 350* F
  • Coat your pans with a generous amount of coconut oil (I like to spread it on with a paper towel so it's even)
  • Combine almond flour, (optional) oats, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda and salt in a bowl
  • Add the lemon juice, vanilla and egg and stir
  • After mashing bananas in a separate bowl, stir those in as well
  • The final touch is adding as many chocolate chips as you like (I go for the generous side of things)
  • Pour batter into one large bread pan, or split evenly between the two small (batter should be 1/2-3/4 the way up the smaller bread pans. If using a larger bread pan spread it more thinly so the inside can cook as well.)
  • Bake at 350* F for 50-55 minutes or until a toothpick can be inserted into the middle of the loaf and removed cleanly. Cooking time may be shorter if you use multiple smaller bread pans.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row make_fullwidth="on" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" column_padding_mobile="on" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" admin_label="Row" disabled="off" global_module="3581"][et_pb_column type="1_3" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_post_slider posts_number="3" include_categories="7" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" excerpt_length="270" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" use_text_overlay="on" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_speed="7000" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" text_border_radius="3" admin_label="Post Slider" body_font_size="20" meta_font_size="16px" meta_letter_spacing="0" meta_line_height="1em" custom_button="off" button_text_size="20" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_post_slider posts_number="3" include_categories="8,6" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" excerpt_length="270" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_speed="7000" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" text_border_radius="3" admin_label="Post Slider" body_font_size="20" meta_font_size="16px" meta_letter_spacing="0" meta_line_height="1em" custom_button="off" button_text_size="20" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3" disabled="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_post_slider posts_number="3" include_categories="9" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" excerpt_length="270" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_speed="7000" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" text_border_radius="3" admin_label="Post Slider" body_font_size="20" meta_font_size="16px" meta_letter_spacing="0" meta_line_height="1em" custom_button="off" button_text_size="20" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" disabled="off"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Read Me

Gluten Free Cheesy Potatoes

[et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="on" specialty="off"][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title admin_label="Post_Title" global_module="142" saved_tabs="all" title="on" meta="on" author="off" date="off" categories="off" comments="off" featured_image="on" featured_placement="background" parallax_effect="on" parallax_method="on" text_orientation="center" text_color="light" text_background="on" text_bg_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" module_bg_color="rgba(255,255,255,0)" title_font="Montserrat|||on|" title_font_size="30" title_text_color="#ffffff" title_all_caps="off" meta_font="Lora||||" meta_text_color="#d9d8c7" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="off" specialty="off"][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_number_counter admin_label="Number Counter" number="3" percent_sign="off" counter_color="#b54c60" background_layout="light" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" number_font="Lora||||"] [/et_pb_number_counter][et_pb_divider admin_label="Divider" color="#575a5e" show_divider="on" height="3" divider_style="solid" divider_position="top" hide_on_mobile="on"] [/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" header_font="Montserrat|||on|" header_font_size="42px" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="Montserrat|||on|" text_font_size="30"] May 2017 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/20170402_155350.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="left" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="|||on|" text_font_size="30"] Gluten free cheesy potatoes. Also known as heaven. 🙂 [/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="||on||"] [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] Prep: 15 Minutes Cook time: 1-1.5 hours Serves 2-4 people What You Need: 2 tblspns gluten free flour/mix (Enjoy Life, Arrow Root) 2 tblspns butter (or ghee) 2 Cups Milk 4-6 small potatoes sliced 2 cups of cheese of choice (I use sharp cheddar) 1 pinch garlic salt 1 pinch onion powder Pepper to taste Casserole dish (most sizes will work)   In a small sauce pan melt the butter on low heat, stirring in gluten free flour. Whisk it well or until there are no longer any clumps, slowly adding in the milk. Leaving it on low heat, bring it to a slow boil before gradually stirring in the cheese.   Put down one layer of potatoes in casserole dish and layer with sauce. Repeat until you have desired casserole depth (it will vary depending on the pan). Make sure all the potatoes are covered with sauce and place in the oven.   I suggest baking it at 350* for one hour and then increments of 5-10 minutes after that until the desired texture is obtained. 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background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="on" specialty="off"][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title admin_label="Post_Title" global_module="142" saved_tabs="all" title="on" meta="on" author="off" date="off" categories="off" comments="off" featured_image="on" featured_placement="background" parallax_effect="on" parallax_method="on" text_orientation="center" text_color="light" text_background="on" text_bg_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" module_bg_color="rgba(255,255,255,0)" title_font="Montserrat|||on|" title_font_size="30" title_text_color="#ffffff" title_all_caps="off" meta_font="Lora||||" meta_text_color="#d9d8c7" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="Section" fullwidth="off" specialty="off"][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="1_4"][et_pb_number_counter admin_label="Number Counter" number="23" percent_sign="off" counter_color="#b54c60" background_layout="light" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" number_font="Lora||||"] [/et_pb_number_counter][et_pb_divider admin_label="Divider" color="#575a5e" show_divider="on" height="3" divider_style="solid" divider_position="top" hide_on_mobile="on"] [/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" header_font="Montserrat|||on|" header_font_size="42px" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" text_font="Montserrat|||on|" text_font_size="30"] May 2015 [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] We’re in one heck of a fight, yeah you got that right. With the ring of a bell, headed into what some call our personal Hell. It’s routine now, chemo, sleep, repeat. How many rounds is this? Good question, we count birthdays and chocolate bars around here. This year it started in November, as far as I can remember. A break from chemo, but hardly a break from the fight. Our regular cocktails weren’t giving a good enough buzz Shhh, not that kind of cocktail-no need to call the fuzz. December rolled around, We did our best to deck the halls. Surgery with the doc, coming up on number two. Jimmy made himself known, said ‘doc sir, you get this right.’ I guess a liver’s pretty important; at least that’s what they said. According to Jimmy, not as important as his little Lizzie, ‘she is my wife’. Huntsman became our hang-out, and despite all the casseroles- we ordered plenty of take-out. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" disabled="off" disabled_on="on|on|off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/nephews_fight.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Christmas_fight.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_image admin_label="Image" src="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/postsx_fight.jpg" show_in_lightbox="off" url_new_window="off" use_overlay="off" animation="left" sticky="off" align="center" force_fullwidth="off" always_center_on_mobile="on" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] [/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"] Lizzie was brave, obeying the doc’s orders. In a room without her family, but not completely alone. No anesthesia today, although there was hardly a hooray. She held her breath, swallowed her fear, and let the chemo beads roam. The doc’s hands were steady, everything was ready. A surgery more precise than any before, one bead placed, two beads, and more. Her family waited two sets of heavy doors away, heavenly angels held her hands. “Be brave,” they whispered, “stay strong. God understands.” One successful surgery later, we’re not sure who was more relieved-Jimmy or the doc. Cancer and vertigo ruled our party, making most driving licenses invalid. Chauffer Lindsey and the Subie to the rescue. Who thought of buying the clutch anyway, those U of U hills are madness. Back home to Kamas, casseroles and chicken noodle soup waiting. Two cute little kiddos, grandma’s home soon to be invading. Cheers to a Christmas, and a New Year too. The doc said no more chemo, rest your tired head and renew. January and February rolled right along. Like the rest of the world, our days got busy. Two degrees to pursue, one to finish. Two little boys to raise, and crime to diminish. A classroom of kids to teach, for everyone has to learn math. And boy did the cancer grow back fast. March came with a bang, but Lizzie was still under the weather. The toughest trooper we know, but could this be her time to go? A trip to Huntsman’s acute care clinic, fighting cancer can have its perks. A cancer scan, emergency day-after chemo, and no more teaching math. Not the way we wanted it to go, but only God sees our path. It’s now the end of May and we’ve been plugging away. Lizzie’s strength is back, her cocktail as strong as ever. She’s getting closer to being out from under the weather. As far as we know, everything so far so good. We appreciate the love, and from me personally, the five-star food. Your creamy soups sure know how to change a person’s mood. We’ve got a scan coming up, we’re nervous-duh. But we’ve got a little something more on our side. No matter how long we do this, 3 years has been the ride, We testify God lives and loves us enough to send his son to die. Cancer’s scary-it’s a bully, it’s a threat. But it’s also lessons to be learned and people to be met. It’s forgiveness, and love, and growing up real fast. It’s looking to the future instead of being so tied to the past. We don’t have the answers, so there’s no point in the questions. How ‘bout a hug, a smile, or maybe a joke? If we talk about cancer anymore, we may have to choke. God has the answers, this is his game. Please, we don’t want to be thrown into fame. We just want to live, to love, and to learn. For simplicity, normality, and the shadows we yearn. We’ve been ever blessed, we could never say thank you enough. You all need to remember, at the end of the day Lizzie is still tough. We’ll keep our cocktails for now, and we’ll pray for a trial. Not the kind we have now, but a clinical, please no denial. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" global_module="3581" make_fullwidth="on" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" parallax_1="off" parallax_method_1="off" parallax_2="off" parallax_method_2="off" parallax_3="off" parallax_method_3="off" column_padding_mobile="on" custom_padding="25px|25px|25px|25px"][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="7" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="8,6" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3"][et_pb_post_slider global_parent="3581" admin_label="Post Slider" posts_number="3" include_categories="9" orderby="rand" show_arrows="on" show_pagination="on" show_more_button="on" more_text="Read Me" content_source="off" use_manual_excerpt="on" show_meta="off" background_image="http://understandinglindsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Jan_Erik_Wader.jpg" background_layout="dark" show_image="on" image_placement="background" parallax="on" parallax_method="off" use_bg_overlay="off" bg_overlay_color="rgba(217,216,199,0.73)" use_text_overlay="on" remove_inner_shadow="off" background_position="default" background_size="default" auto="off" auto_ignore_hover="off" hide_content_on_mobile="off" hide_cta_on_mobile="off" show_image_video_mobile="off" meta_letter_spacing="0" custom_button="off" button_letter_spacing="0" button_use_icon="default" button_icon_placement="right" button_on_hover="on" button_letter_spacing_hover="0" body_font_size="20" text_overlay_color="rgba(87,90,94,0.59)"] [/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Read Me

Gluten Free Cake Pops That Will Make You Wish You were actually gluten free

These cake pops will definitely be my go-to gluten free treat for future parties, events, and every day occasions... they were a hit!
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A for honesty….or I mean eventual honesty.

Stop faking it. Be genuine human beings. Stand up for what you believe in. Quit caring so much about others and take the time to care for yourself. In reality, by caring for yourself and telling the truth, you're taking better care of them anyways.
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The Fight

This year it started in November, as far as I can remember. A break from chemo, but hardly a break from the fight. Our regular cocktails weren’t giving a good enough buzz Shhh, not that kind of cocktail-no need to call the fuzz.
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I’ve decided to try to be a poet

One of my closest friends in the whole wide world is an absolutely brilliant poet. After begging her to read me one of the most beautiful pieces I've ever heard, (which she wrote), I asked why she wrote poetry.
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